Because I love to hate

How many of you have had the pleasure of experiencing a multiethnic society?
We(Here in,hundreds of students studying in a central government college) stay in it,are an integral part of the cultural know-how.
In this blog post I am going to talk about people from different states.To know how things  work you can tour the whole of India or you can get a good rank in IIT-JEE et al..Before I start off,all things mentioned here are meant for humor and none of it should be read with a mindset biased towards any religion or state.
(Gult-Any guy who speaks telugu and is from Andhra Pradesh)
Andhra Pradesh-Gults.A classic case of ‘what could go wrong,has gone wrong’.Gults form the majority of hostel ‘junta’.So you might wonder about the geographic location of your college at times.Gults are trained to survive.They can live off curd rice and pickle till eternity.They have an infinite collection of telugu songs and movies.A gult worships his favourite actor with devoutness which could put any orthodox catholic to shame.Gults like anything cheap.A gult will introduce you to certain telugu words which will become a part of your vocabulary ex-‘Enti Ra’.They are a close knit group analogous to a beehive.Gults go to sleep early that is,after wishing their parents,praying and cleaning their bed(Only gults do that along with certain Biharis).You WILL forget the names of a few gults,going by the length of their names you are bound to.A gult rarely speaks or understands english but mind you,they will end up among the toppers.Deduction-Gults will top in numbers,in academics,in volleyball and in never ceasing to amaze.

Gult girls-Will wear salwaar kameez in the first semester and there will be a shift towards jeans from then on.They still think teddies are cute.They text a lot.NEVER consult them regarding fashion sense.Gult girls know everything there is to know about a scripted life.Top in school,get into a reputed institute,find some guy,have a fling with him,get a job,parents will find some guy for you working in USA,marry him,quit your job,go to USA.
Biharis,UP wale-They are the true rockstars of the hostel/college.Always remember,a bihari is never wrong.Never.They are extremists.You will find a Bihari/UP wala top in every field there is.They listen to bhojpuri songs,which trust me beats every genre of music there is.Some of the lines go like “Lagavelu jab tu lipstick,hilela sara disticccck.”They can kick ass also save their ass at the same time.They are manipulative,they are friends with goons back home.A Bihari has seen everything,if he hasn’t then it probably doesn’t exist.That is a law of nature.Patna is the best city,if you don’t agree,you need a medical check up.They ape nobody,they take no shit.They are the rockstars.

Bengalis-Ebery bengali is a moron.Ebery bengali needs a psychiatrist.Ebery bengali can speak in a language which can sacre you to the spine.A bengali can eat more chicken than a bengali can think of.The things your mom said during your childhood days about bengalis is true.Bengalis can lift objects uing their eyesight.
(Mallu-Any guy who can speak malayalam)

Keralites-As the popular saying goes “Only a mallu can understand a mallu”,I am trying to explain the unexplained here.I personally feel Kerala is a part of Africa,probably it stumbled upon India due to some very wrong decisions by God.To compensate for his mistake,he called this place his own country and gave them beaches and lungis,commiting a new mistake altogether.My theory is also supported by the fact that every mallu has an itch to cross the Arabian sea and go to the gulf(somewhat closer to Africa).Mallus are muscular,mallus can gulp down shitloads of alcohol like water,mallus can eat more beef in a day than you can in a month.Mallus can make non-human sounds with their throat,which explains their weird language.A mallu will never interact with a non-mallu until the matter is of importance to him.Mallus are misers,mallus are nerds.Mallus are the worst thing that has happened to India after Pakistan.

Tamilians-Nobody cares about them.Even if they exist,read the first sentence again.

Delhiites-Every delhi wala comes with  a swagger one can’t fake.Every delhities dad is the most powerful person on earth.Hence the famous dialogue “Tu jaanta nahi mera baap kaun hai.”He has seen twice the number of hot girls than you have(Every hot chick in India has her roots in Delhi.Period.)He will be the first one to introduce you to ‘gaalis’.You will start going ‘behencho behencho’ in no time.

Mumbaikars-Two words can sum them up.Snobs and whiners.They are obsessed with human excreta,something to do with their vada-pav I guess.They are the cry-babies of hostel.A frustrated lot depressed about the fact that nobody gives a damn about them being from Mumbai(We love Sachin though).

I had fun writing this,staying on a moral highground(!!!),being all judgemental etc.Hope you had fun reading.No individual has inspired anything mentioned,just some traits I have observed over the years.No hard feelings.


2 thoughts on “Because I love to hate

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